Recently the talk of conscious parenting, mindfulness, and awareness has been on the rise, but what do all of these actually mean?
I, personally, believe that they all have the same underlying thread. When we are mindful we are paying attention to the now moment without any judgments. By practicing mindfulness we are raising our awareness to what is actually happening now before us and not reacting from a past feeling or situation. By making ourselves aware of what is now, we are raising the levels of our consciousness, because we aren’t reacting from a place of victimhood.
By utilizing all of these techniques we are processing through the emotions of the moment and connecting with our selves on a deeper level. We are being shown where our faults still lie, where our ego has a hold on us, and where there is still growth needed.
To be a conscious parent isn’t just to parent consciously, but to live consciously in your life each and every day.
We all forget, we all fall into the spiral of the monkey mind, but all these practices are here to help us to reconnect with the moment, come back to the present, connect with the breath. When I began practicing conscious parenting, it showed me that before I could even begin I had to change my self, the way I spoke to myself, the way I cared for my self, and the way I carried myself. Through this desire to create a more harmonious home I knew I would have to some work of my own, but that is exactly the basis of conscious parenting!
Our children come to us to show us where we are too rigid, where our views have become skewed. They come to help us, show us, guide us on our journey of growth. By becoming more aware in our parenting a trickle happens within the rest of our lives. We become more aware of our workplace, we become more conscious in our relationships with friends, family, and our partner.
When we begin this path, it can be scary at times, especially when you begin to see all the negativity you were allowed to live in your home and your mind. For me, I started noticing friendships and relationships falling away that weren’t in my highest good. I saw people claiming “You’ve changed!”, but to them, it wasn’t for the better.
Soon I became worried about my relationship with my fiancé. That’s what happens when you begin to raise your consciousness—others rise with you, or they fall away. It became so rewarding to share my thoughts and the new ways of thinking and living with him. Some stuff he would pick up, some he would leave because it just wasn’t for him or maybe he just wasn’t ready to see or accept something I would share.
I believe that’s what the journey is all about, sharing and giving those around you the choice.
At some point though he saw the overwhelming growth that was happening and began to implement mindfulness in his own way.
Raising our consciousness isn’t always a one way, straight road. It has many paths, many twists, and turns, many tests, but regardless of the path you are on, it’s definitely one of growth. For this reason and many others, I believe our children come to us as our teachers.
Each day we are teaching them how to be humans living on Earth, but each day they are also teaching us how to let go of our ego to become more of a being. A child comes in with nothing but wonder and awe, play and curiosity, and what do we do? In most cases, we squash the young innocence from them in our haste for them to grow up.
They only want us to hurry up & slow down!
They come to us to help show us how to live in the present now moment.
Traditional parenting puts all the focus on the child, on molding them, controlling them, punishing them. Whereas conscious parenting moves this focus from the child and puts it back on our selves. Focusing on connection with your child and raising self-awareness.
This has been the case ever since we started having children, but what is so beautiful about being a parent now is that we are aware of this. We are aware of what is triggering us, we are aware of the patterns we are walking in, and we have the opportunity to grow, to choose something different.
This doesn’t mean we have finished our growth because after we master one lesson another comes to push us to grow even more again. When our children are born, their consciousness is higher than yours. The same way our grandparents may not fully understand the online world the way we do, or even why our phones are so important to us, we cannot connect with our children without first doing a little growing to come up to meet them on their level.
This is why some parents are so taken aback by some of the things their children may do or say.
Children are constantly aware of what’s happening and being said around them.
They pick up on everything even the slightest things because they are living in the now moment, always. Their ego is mind isn’t pulling them to the last or the future. For this reason, our children will always be our biggest and best teachers. They are sponges soaking up everything in their environment, modeling the behaviors and values they’ve seen.
If your child is modeling a behavior you don’t like then the time isn’t here to reprimand your child or give them a dissertation on what’s “right” or appropriate, but the time is here to get you to go inward and see the place that you are modeling this behavior yourself, then change it. In my home, I would become so angry when my girls would seem to ignore me when I spoke to them. One day I looked at why I felt this way and what I found was, when they spoke to me
I would only give them half of my attention. I now make a more concerted effort to stop, make eye contact, and truly engage with what they are sharing with me.
The child is always giving us chances for growth, but are we taking them? Or are we ignoring the gift of growth while we reprimand our children?