Do you remember that blissful period of your newborn child’s life when you, having been through the emotional wringer, finally settle into a rhythm? It’s those first moments when you figure out when your child likes to eat, how they like to be held, where they sleep the best when you start to feel like you’ve “got this”! As with most things, the Honeymoon period wears off and the whole parenting thing gets a little bit trickier as your child begins to blossom into a tiny person – with complicated emotions.
My daughter, Camille, was born on a chilly Black Friday in November. Amidst the rush of shoppers scrambling to cash in on those Holiday shopping deals – my husband and I rushed to the hospital to forever change our lives. Camille was what some may describe as an “easy baby” – not crying much and slept through the night by 6 weeks of age, among other things. By the time she was two years old, my husband and I had determined that she would NOT be an “easy child”. Camille’s personality began to flourish – on wonderful days, she was a go-getter, daring, and had a zest for life that was contagious! On difficult days, she was stubborn, obstinate, and completely unwilling to compromise. I found myself wondering “where had we gone wrong?” as parents on those difficult days. By the time she was 8 years of age, our home had become a high-anxiety place because there was a constant fear of stoking Camille’s fiery anger. Arguments complete with screaming (admittedly, by all parties involved) became an almost-daily norm. They were triggered by what seemed like the most minor of things such as telling her to brush her teeth before bed!
At my wit’s end, and amidst my own version of a “Spiritual Awakening”, I discovered the magical ancient wisdom of Astrology. Or rather, it found me. Of course we all know what Astrology is – and most of us grew up reading the cheesy horoscopes in our favorite magazines. I began to dive deeply into Astrology and discovered a fascinating world that is far more complex than I could have imagined having only been exposed to tabloid horoscopes in my teenage years. I began to unearth the layers of my own birth chart – why my emotions are the way they are, what motivates me, where do I feel resistance in my life. Suddenly, it hit me: I should study Camille’s birth chart! What I uncovered over the next few months of researching, analyzing, and digging for clues has truly changed the way I parent and has changed the relationship I have with my daughter.
Before I discovered Astrology, I was parenting from a place of familiarity. As a child, I was a gentle, hard-working, people-pleasing gem. I loved being given directions and then completing those tasks to a high standard. As a sister to two unruly and emotionally-troubled brothers, I lived for the praise of my parents. I was told no less than once a day how I was “the good child” and how I “always did what you were told”. Naturally, since my child shared my DNA – of course she would like that kind of direction just like I did, right? How could she not? That could not have been further from the truth.
There are many aspects to be interpreted in a person’s birth chart – but the most monumental discoveries I made as a parent were my child’s Sun, Moon, and Mars placements in her chart. The Sun is your personality- and how your life force manifests in the world. Camille was a Sagittarius – a fiery, high-energy sign that craves adventure. This explained why I (a soft, gentle Pisces) felt her personality to be slightly abrasive at times. Additionally, Camille also had the planet Mars in the sign of Sagittarius. Mars shows what motivates us, what drives us forward, and also how we experience and express anger. Motivation is especially important to understand as a parent because it’s how we can get our children to be productive and do the things we need them to do their daily lives. As a Mars-in-Sagittarius person, I learned that Camille was motivated by the FREEDOM to “do her own thing”. When she felt like her freedom was being taken away, it zapped her motivation and resulted in explosive fits of anger. It finally clicked: this is WHY she did not respond well to being directed to do things- particularly when that direction involved exactly HOW and WHEN she had to do said task. Camille’s Moon in Leo helped me understand why her emotional expressions were often dramatic and bold. The Moon in our chart represents our emotional body and what we need to feel safe and secure and Camille’s Moon being in the sign of Leo meant she craved attention and sometimes thrived on dramatic expressions of her emotions. The attributes I had once viewed as character flaws I now began to see objectively as if I was an outsider looking in with fresh eyes.
All of this information finally helped me see my daughter for who she truly is rather than focus on how she is different than I was as a child. Astrology has taught me that relationships can be challenging when those involved don’t understand where the other person is coming from or WHY they behave a certain way. Since my discoveries, I have started dealing with Camille in a manner that is more suited to what she needs. When a task needs to be done, I explain the end goal and deadline, but I give her the freedom (within reason) to choose HOW she wants to accomplish said task and I let her create her own timeline given the deadline. While things aren’t perfect at home, they have definitely improved dramatically- not only for Camille, but for myself. I find myself less emotionally triggered by her reactions now that I understand her motives and emotional needs more. Our relationship is still a work-in-progress, but I use the knowledge I have gained from understanding her Astrology chart as guiding principles to be the best Mom I can be.
If you are struggling with any aspects of your parent-child relationship, I urge you to explore Astrology’s ancient wisdom. Even if you’re not struggling with your child, it’s still fantastic to explore what is quite literally “written in the stars” for your child. Astrology can be incredibly daunting to beginners, so if you feel overwhelmed by the vast amount of information out there, focus your efforts on your child’s Sun Sign, Moon Sign, and Mars Sign. These are likely the three most important aspects when a Parent is examining their child’s chart. If you have the means, book a reading with a professional Astrologer who focuses on reading children’s charts. Most of all, enjoy getting to know your precious child on a deeper soul level!